"I don't need to, I'm married," I point out, still a little dubious that he's not going to take a fall any second, though at least he's being careful about it. "And this isn't the first time. I might have the worst luck in the world when it comes to the bachelor life, but I know a thing or two about relationships, let me tell ya."

That I probably did pick up that idea from a romantic comedy is besides the point. I mean, the only reason I've seen so many of them -- and by 'seen' I mean 'made out during' -- is because I've been in a few steady relationships, anyway, which is my point.

"You're sure you got a good grip there?"