This is supposed to be the part of our conversation when I give the it's not you, it's me speech, but I'm the one thing my experience hasn't been clear on. I've pushed her away, kept her close by, made her stay with my relatives... But when it's come right down to it, it's never seemed to matter what I do. Everyone I know has a target painted on their backs for the sole reason that I exist -- that doesn't change based on our physical proximity.
"If I'm with you, there's all the chance in the world that you'll get caught in the crossfire." The anger's still there, but it fades from my voice, at least. I physically can't bring myself to relax anywhere else. "But if I'm not with you, there's all the chance in the world you'll get caught by him when I'm too far away to do anything about it."
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This is supposed to be the part of our conversation when I give the it's not you, it's me speech, but I'm the one thing my experience hasn't been clear on. I've pushed her away, kept her close by, made her stay with my relatives... But when it's come right down to it, it's never seemed to matter what I do. Everyone I know has a target painted on their backs for the sole reason that I exist -- that doesn't change based on our physical proximity.
"If I'm with you, there's all the chance in the world that you'll get caught in the crossfire." The anger's still there, but it fades from my voice, at least. I physically can't bring myself to relax anywhere else. "But if I'm not with you, there's all the chance in the world you'll get caught by him when I'm too far away to do anything about it."