[Home Plot | Welcome to the Melting Pot | Pt. I]

[daretodo]

It's not that unusual a scene, really. The nights I don't spend swinging through abandoned stretches of jungle, trying to get my skills back up to par, I spend hunched over my desk, working. Whenever it's the latter -- and those nights, it seems, have been a lot more frequent in the weeks since I learned about Johnny and Marla -- Mary Jane often wanders into my workshop, imploring me to come to bed in that way of hers that makes me feel both guilty for keeping her up, and lucky for her ever having agreed to marry me in the first place. Sometimes, I flash her a smile that's equal parts weary and sheepish, tell her not to wait up for me. Others, I let her take my hand, and lead me back into the bedroom.

Tonight, she's standing in the doorway, wearing my ESU sweatshirt -- the one she gets more use out of than I do, not that I mind in the least -- and a pair of shorts that immediately draws my attention to her legs, and when she tells me I'm done for the night, I'm compelled to agree, putting away my stuff haphazardly, so that I can get to my feet. My fingers instinctively lace through hers, and she pulls me along across the hall and towards our bed, a coy, sweet smile playing across her lips as she looks up at me all the while. I lean forward to murmur something in her ear, but it's really just an excuse to steal a kiss, my eyes fluttering shut as I step in closer, planting one knee on the mattress, so I can twist our bodies into a fall back onto the bed.

Like I said, it's really not that unusual a scene -- except for the part where the air shifts around us, that the bed we land on is one I haven't slept on in nearly two years, and that, very suddenly, keeping my eyes shut is no longer an option. The change in environment is so immediate and complete that I almost don't notice at first just how quickly it is I'm back on my feet or that my head is buzzing in mild warning. Almost. Because the thing is, I can't remember the last time I felt this alert. It's like I've downed about a gallon of espresso in the past two seconds, my whole body humming with a sort of nervous energy, and it takes me all of a moment longer to get a good look around the room. My room, technically -- the one in Stark Tower -- though I never lived here for very long before I got whisked away to a magical island in the middle of nowhere. There are paintings of Avengers adorning the walls. The carpet is plush under my bare feet. One side of the curtain is still pulled open, revealing the bright city lights of the nighttime skyline through a window that's not as unbreakable as Tony Stark once claimed it to be.

We're in New York, I realize. Wait, hold on, let me say that again, because I'm about this close to pinching myself with the proportional strength of a spider: we're in New York.

"Woah."

Comments

[getemtiger.livejournal.com]

"Pete?"

For Mary Jane, the first thing that caught her attention was how quickly Peter had climbed off her, happening before she could so much as realize it, or realize why, having been fairly involved in what they were doing. Once he was on his feet, though, it was clear enough to see that they weren't in the hut anymore, something which made her eyes widen, lips parting in a noticeably puzzled expression. It may have been a fact of island life that they were occasionally subjected to what could only be described as insanity, but this, this was something different, leaving her practically reeling as she looked around the room, which was a hell of a lot swankier than anything she was accustomed to, a fact that didn't rank very high on the list of strange things about this, but was worth noting all the same.

Likewise worth noting was the view from the window, which she tore her gaze from Peter just long enough to identify as being decidedly New York's. Sitting up slightly, she turned to him again, a few seconds passing before she could even figure out what to say. "Please tell me you have some idea what just happened."

[daretodo]

"I don't--" I start instinctively, but then I realize that isn't, precisely, true. I do have an idea. In fact, I have loads of ideas filling up my head about what the the hell just happened, but it's hard to focus on any of one of them when we're in New York. The Big Apple. Home.

Just to test this theory -- and it is a theory, not a hypothesis, because that low-level buzzing means I've got my spider-sense again -- I take a couple of steps back away from the ultra posh four-poster bed, and bend my knees to do a simple flip. Even at a complete stand still, I manage three whole rotations before I land on all fours, crouched on the ground in a posture that's more Spider-Man than Peter Parker. I look up at Mary Jane with an excited grin, laughing breathlessly from exhilaration, not effort, because that, my friends, was as easy as pie. Only encouraged, I push myself up onto my hands, holding myself up in a perfectly balanced one-armed handstand, letting my legs split apart so I can reach out to grab at one foot with my free hand. I spring back onto my feet without so much as a wobble on the landing.

"--think we're in Kansas anymore," I finish, leaping towards the wall, twisting at the last second to stick -- yes, stick -- to the mantle above the fireplace. Crawling along the ceiling, I quickly make my way back over to the bed, suspending myself upside down in front of Mary Jane in under a second courtesy of a super creepy, albeit extraordinarily useful, line of organic webbing.

"...boy, I forgot how weird that felt," I note to myself before adding more audibly, "Heya, Red."

[getemtiger.livejournal.com]

"You're upside down," was all Mary Jane said, eyes still wide from having watched him. Still so puzzled — he had his powers, obviously, that much was beyond apparent — and unable to quite piece this together, there wasn't really anything else she could do. At least one of them was pleased about this; she was too startled to be, having had literally seconds to try to process all of this, between the sudden change of location and Peter's little display of his abilities. With more time, she might have been able to reach the logical conclusion, but for now, she was just reeling. "Really, Pete, this is… this is weird."

[daretodo]

"Just so we're on the same page, by this you mean being transported to New York mid-makeout and not, well, me, right?" I ask, canting my head to the side. After about a beat, I flip back onto my feet, then knee down in front of her, searching for her hands. "Though at least I have an explanation for the latter. Sorta. Maybe. I definitely don't for the first, other than..."

I trail off suddenly, teeth pressing to my bottom lip. Maybe I shouldn't say it. Not because I want to keep things from her, but more because while I'm sure we're home -- my home, at least, unless there's another Peter Parker who joined the Avengers somewhere -- I don't know if this isn't just an island trick or the real deal. When we ended up in Jersey that one time, we woke up there. But this, this just felt more like how I first showed up on the Island. One minute you're one place, and the next, you're in another, no sleep required.

[getemtiger.livejournal.com]

"No, I don't need an explanation for you," Mary Jane said with a slightly dubious look, letting out a short laugh despite herself. That much, as far as she was concerned, was fairly self-explanatory, if one were to ignore the fact that he'd been without his powers for almost two years. It was whatever circumstances had caused this that she couldn't make sense of, a fact which she made no effort to hide even before she spoke again. "I was definitely referring to the latter, so if you've got any ideas, please, just say it."

[daretodo]

"Well, I was thinking that maybe it--"

I'm about to launch into my explanation when the floor trembles underneath me, like the Hulk's gotten up for a midnight snack -- which, it now occurs to me, could actually be what's happening, even if I'm pretty darn sure the guy doesn't exactly have access to the building. Not that that really matters, I guess, when you're the freaking Hulk, but it bears saying nevertheless, that if he's up here, it's probably not because someone let him in, and that's about as encouraging a thought as saying there's a bulldozer standing at the ready to knock the whole building over. Muffled shouting comes through from the other side of the locked, heavy door, and all of a sudden, my spider-sense switches off from an easily ignored mild warning to a head splitting danger, danger, Will Robinson that finds me back on my feet in less than a second.

Eyes widening in preemptive panic, I yell, "Get down!" as I head for the door, wondering what the hell we just arrived in the middle of.

[notawastedlife]

It had been a busy minute for Tony Stark. He'd just achieved cross-dimensional teleportation, for one. Which would have been great, except he'd been working on a motorcycle at the time, and doing something of this nature required a little more than a torque wrench. So it hadn't been him. Again.

He wasn't even wearing the suit, either, which meant no data, and if he was in another universe...

Scratch that, definitely in another universe. The scene was resolving itself, and there was, well, him, or a doppelganger, also having... a busy minute. Or more.

"Not to interrupt- no, actually, I'm going to, you look like you're in for the long haul, but someone seems to have dumped me in... wow, you are actually green, that's not just the light. I don't normally go for the whole muscley women thing -- clearly one of me does, but whoa wait hang on give me a sec-"

Really, really wished he'd been in the suit. This would hurt a whole lot less, or possibly not have happened.

[daretodo]

I open the door just in time for Tony Stark to fly right through it. Now, this wouldn't be incredibly unusual in another context were it not for the fact that calling him Tony Stark and not Iron Man was intentional. He's achieved unarmored flight, apparently thanks to a lift from a very savage (not to mention naked, wow) looking She-Hulk.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, here, let me backtrack. Because the second I opened the door, I also happened to jump up and out of the way, sticking my landing on the ceiling like a pro while he crashed right through a table, shattering a vase and spilling water on the floor in the process. Not that my focus was on him right away, mind you, since behind Shulkie, there's another Tony bringing up the rear. That's not a comment on his, ah, bedroom practices, by the way. Or if it is, well, it's not intentional. Moving along.

"What the--" I murmur, turning my attention, now, to Tony the Crash Test Dummy, and I immediately notice the glow of the arc reactor in his chest. An arc reactor that he shouldn't have if he's from this universe, which means...

"Ever heard of knocking?" I say, suspending myself from the ceiling directly in front of him. The implications of both him and Mary Jane being here send my mind racing, but I don't let it show. "Jeez."

[notawastedlife]

Tony countered with a well-thought out, "Ow. Look sharp, green lady," he said, pushing his head up from the remains of the table that had broken his fall and also simply broken to get another look at the group heading towards them.

"Anyway, I knocked, didn't you hear- you're adhesive."

[stanleepresents.livejournal.com]

"You picked the wrong room to-"

"He didn't pick it," Tony said, having acquired underwear and followed out.

"He didn't?"

"If he'd picked it he'd be in armor," he said. "Assuming he's who he looks like."

"He looks like you."

"He's a Tony Stark."

"You're Tony Stark."

"I'm a Tony Stark."

"And he's-"

"A Tony Stark."

"If he's who he looks like."

"That's right. Although, why hasn't he armored up? Hey, Peter."

[daretodo]

"Hey, Boss," I say, gingerly landing on the floor, careful to pick a place on the floor that isn't covered in glass. After so long away, at least from my perspective, it's a little weird to call that face Boss, even with the differences between Stark Squared made all the more obvious once they're in the same room. I offer Tony 2.0 a hand up.

"He's not armored up 'cause he's old school. The new old school, since he's technically from our future, just... from a different universe, it's a thing." Off She-Hulk's look, I'm quick add, "Which doesn't explain why he was in your room, I'm just, you know, saying, that that's why he isn't--"

[stanleepresents.livejournal.com]

"Sweet Christmas," interrupts Luke Cage, poking his head into the room, before he steps inside, eying the collected group wearily. Jessica Jones follows in short order, rubbing sleep from her eyes, her free hand stretched high above her head. They'd obviously been woken up by the noise, both still dressed in their bed clothes.

"What the hell's going on in here?"

"Am I... seeing double?" adds Jessica.

[notawastedlife]

"Forget that, more pressing matters to attend to," Tony said, being pulled to his feet and then staring at his hand. He tried to discreetly wipe it on his shirt. Which was greasy, but he was fine with grease.

"I mean, did that guy just say 'Sweet Christmas'? I thought Miss Green was an alien, but clearly, you want to check that guy out. Clooney."

The other Tony and his green lady-friend looked at each other. "...George?" ventured the lady-friend.

"He's- nevermind. I've heard of you."

"You've heard of yourself?" said Miss Green.

"He's heard of me," said the other Tony. "I haven't heard of you."

"You haven't been in a situation where you'd have heard of me," Tony said. "I only heard about you from people like Pete."

"Who has been keeping secrets," said the other Tony, looking past him. "You've been universe hopping. You probably should have run that past me. And you got back together with MJ?"

[getemtiger.livejournal.com]

"Not that MJ," Mary Jane pointed out, maybe a little more sharply than was intended, looking from the Tony who'd last spoken to the one she knew to Peter again. She probably shouldn't have been annoyed, but given how quickly all of this had happened, and the fact that it was a touchy subject already, she couldn't help it. She'd been confused already, and that was before a bunch of people she didn't know had come piling into the room that she and Peter were in. Now, having this one thing she could be certain of, she didn't intend for there to be any miscommunication on the matter.

She gestured with her thumb in the direction of Tony, the one from the island. "I'm like him. Different universe, not the same person. Check the eyes."

[daretodo]

I'd been so wrapped up in this MJ that it never occurred to me that she's not the version who should've been here. Bucky told me just last week that he didn't even know I was married -- pointed out that I'm kinda private -- but to hear confirmation from Tony hits me a lot harder than She-Hulk ever could. There's about a second where I think I'm going to be sick, bile rising in my throat, but I swallow it back, torn between grief and relief, and knowing this isn't the time to deal with either.

"Y-Yeah, the eyes, that's the constant. Or the variable. It's... constant that they're the variable," I agree about a beat too late, looking lost until I find Mary Jane across the room, flashing her a slight, apologetic smile. This isn't exactly how I would've planned a trip home; the welcome committee leaves a little something to be desired. Glancing back to Tony 1.0 -- I really need better nicknames -- I add, "And also, I don't have to run anything past you. What I do on my off time is my own business. Not that this was off time, because I was sort of just... brought there against my own will-- It's a long story."

[stanleepresents.livejournal.com]

"One we should go over, though," Tony said, giving Peter an increasingly searching look. "If someone's taking people out of their dimensions, that needs looking into. Especially if they can just insert people past our security. Why you? Why not an enemy, a threat? Makes me wonder if it's a distraction."

[daretodo]

"...wow, I forgot what it was like to be around sane people," I say, blinking up at him like he's some sort of modern marvel. For all the so-called scientists on the Island, it's rare that you actually ran into one who cared enough to keep investigating after their first couple of months beach-side. Tony -- uh, the other one -- was pretty much the only other person besides myself who didn't stop. "I mean, I'm not about to rule it out without investigation, but you're probably wrong that it's a distraction. From my perspective, I've been gone about two years, and if there's an endgame in mind, it's-- What?"

Jessica's been staring at me with a curious expression for the past minute or so, but once I call her on it, she cants her head to the side, and frowns. "Have you been tanning?"

Taken aback, I cough out a disbelieving laugh. "It was an island."

"So that's a yes."

"...yes? Is that important?"

"Ghosts usually have more color than you do. It's weird."

"Girl's got a point," Luke adds.

"No, she does not. She-Hulk just threw AlternaTony across Stark Tower, that's the point, not... whatever it is your-- Can we move on?"

[notaparker]

"Yeah, let's," says Wolverine, shoving me ahead of him into the room.

Tonight is going swimmingly, let me tell you. It had been, up until a little while ago, a typical night in the life of Jessica Drew. Sitting at home, reading a chemistry text, an experimental mixture condensing on my desk. The ordinary, boring activities of a clone on a magical island.

Right up until I wasn't on a magical island any more.

At least, I assume; so far all I've seen is the interior of some kind of mansion.

And Wolverine. I didn't know Wolverine lived in a mansion -- well, actually, the school, I suppose, but I know what that looks like and it isn't this -- but apparently he does, a fact I found out when he leapt out on me and demanded I tell him who I am and who I work for.

Actually, that's not entirely accurate. I found out moments before he leapt out at me, because my spider-sense went off. Actual, legitimate, honest-to-arachnid spider-sense, blaring a warning in my head. I almost webbed him and ran, because powers, but it's Wolverine. One of the good guys. Sorta. No sense blowing the secret identity if there's a chance of sorting this out.

Starting to wonder if I shouldn't have gone with plan A for Abscond. This room is a very complicated room.

"Caught this sneaking around," he says.

To which I can only respond, "I wasn't sneaking around! I was just around!"

"Wait 'til you hear who she claims she is," he continues, as if I hadn't spoken, and the presence of two, count them, two Tony Starks explains a whole lot about the way he looked at me when I blurted my name.

He had all the claws out, okay? I was inclined to tell the claws everything they wanted to know at that particular moment, and it didn't seem like a big secret, it's just my civilian name. Now, little less inspired.

Web and run. I am not ruling this out as an option. Since, hey, it's an option. I'll take that to the bank, and then attach myself to the ceiling of the bank. Since this is a thing I can once again do.

[daretodo]

"Jessica?!"

I look from her -- Jessica the Clone, not Jessica the Old High School Classmate, though she replies with her own "What?" this time -- to Wolverine, who notably doesn't look like he's been on a tropical vacation lately. I'm not sure if that's more confusing or less, and I take a step back -- a couple, actually -- just to separate myself from the rest of the group, trying to get my bearings, here, because there's absolutely nothing about this that's making any sense. Who else is making a guest appearance where they don't belong?

"Speaking of security," I say quickly, turning back to Original Flavor Tony, "maybe you should check to see if there are any more stowaways, because this is starting to get a little sitcom-y."

[notaparker]

"Peter," I mimic, out of a kind of desperate reflex, sourced in the fact that I have no idea what is going on. There are two Iron Men. It's another universe, that's obvious, but what are we doing here? Is this what happens when people vanish? They just get shuffled on to another random dimension?

If that's true, this is completely unfair. Because by the way Peter's chatting to the other Tony Stark, he knows him, which means this might be his home digs.

Not this building specifically. Ugh, I hope not, that would be completely unfair, this place is high class.

Non-island Tony turns to Wolverine, assesses me briefly and appears to decide I don't need claws up in my face, because he says, "Wolverine."

"I haven't smelled or heard anyone else, but I'll take a look."

He heads back out. He does not put the claws back in. Boy, I hope no one else got dragged along.

"Or we could use something a little better than a nose," says the Tony I think is the one from the island, still dusting himself off. "You've got a whole set-up, right? The pimped out club-house. Give me a spin on the gear, I'll see if I can't find our interdimensional transition, duplicate it, pop us right on back. Well, not Pete, I guess this is the neighborhood, but I have people to retrieve."

"And while he does that, I'll stand here awkwardly," I say, "hey, look, I'm on top of it already."

[daretodo]

"Interdimensional transitions are really more Reed Richards' bag. We could swing by the Baxter Building," I say, and immediately I wonder if Johnny's still alive here, though I don't yet ask, not really wanting to know just yet if the answer's no. There's enough on our plates to deal with right now, including, but certainly not limited to the fact that I don't really want Mary Jane to be popped right back anywhere without me in tow.

"You've got two Tony Starks running around, you really don't think Hill will pick up on that if you go traipsing across the city?" replies an unfortunately familiar voice from the doorway. Spider-Woman -- she's in costume, okay, and there are already enough Jessicas in this room to make my head spin -- is holding out some sort of hi tech cellphone in front of her, the holographic, eye-patched mug of Nick Fury glowing red directly above it.

"Great, just who I wanted to see," I mutter, jumping backwards to stick to the window. That's really not going to get old anytime soon, wow.

"You and me both," says Luke, looking like he's about to blow a gasket. I guess he's still a little sore about that whole Secret War thing. Can't really blame the guy; I'm a little sore about it, too. "What the $*%& are you doing with that $(%*( on speed-dial?"

"Don't be too hard on Jessica," says Fury. "I know ya think I'm the worst of the bunch, but don't take it out on her -- she's not the one who bugged your rooms, just the one who intercepted the signal." His one good eye slides over to Tony.

"Oh, my God, what?!" I say, looking from Spider-Woman, to Fury, to Blue-Eyed Tony, though he might be Black-Eyed Tony in a second. At least that explains why the heck Fury already knows what's going on, if not why my room's been bugged.

But that's not the real problem, here, is it? Because while I'm not Nick Fury's biggest fan in the whole wide world, he's the evil, for lack of a better word, that I know. The only thing I know about Maria Hill is that Cap had to go way over her head to get the band back together again, because she's really not a fan of the whole capes and cowls crowd. Not that any of us actually wears a cape.

"Avengers, you've got bigger fish to fry than a nosy teammate," cuts in Fury before anyone else has a chance to get a word in edgewise. "In this political climate, the last thing you need is Hill breathing down your necks for harboring an A-List refugee from an alternate dimension."

[notawastedlife]

"Is someone going to fill me on who the tiny holographic pirate is?" Tony said. "No? Actually, I don't know who most of you guys are, I don't really... care a great deal. What, is she worried we don't have the right interdimensional passports and documentation? Didn't exactly have a moment to apply for visas, plus, actually, isn't the thing you do then putting the illegal immigrants back on a plane home? I'm trying to build the plane home, here."

"You don't know Nick Fury?" said the the green woman.

The girl -- Jessica, she'd been around the scrapyard once or twice, from island-side -- made a strange sound, sort of a disbelieving snort-laugh, at the same time as Tony said, cheerfully, "Nope."

[daretodo]

I flash Jessica a questioning look, but file her reaction away to ask about later. That is, if I ever get around to it, because it's not like there aren't about fifty billion other things I need to be asking right about now. This is a mess, and tempting as it is to find the nearest exit, and clear my head for a couple of hours, I can't exactly do that until at least some of this is cleared up. Mary Jane, Jessica, even Tony -- they're all my responsibility for as long as they're here.

"I think what the tiny holographic pirate is getting at is that she's sooner to lock you up for questioning than she is to let any of you leave," I say, pulling at my hair. "S.H.I.E.L.D. hasn't exactly been in our corner lately."

"Whaddaya know, you are smarter than you look," says Fury. "The kid's right. It's better for everyone if no one else knows you're here."

"He means it's better for him," I translate. "In case there was ever any doubt."

"The two aren't mutually exclusive."

God, I hate this guy. Every single time he's made so much as a cameo in my life, things get straight up insane, and I honestly don't know that this time'll be any different. Looking around what's quite possibly the most confusing room in existence, my gaze settles on Mary Jane for a moment before it flicks back to Fury.

"Uh huh," I say, frowning. "So what's the plan, Stan?"

Fury smirks.

"Give me a couple of hours."