A Merry Marvel Debut

[daretodo]

“So, in this land that time forgot somewhere in Antarctica…what’ve we got to look forward to?”
 
We’re all of us crowded in the Quinjet. Iron Man’s at the wheel and me, Cap, Spider-Woman – no relation to yours truly – and Luke Cage are sitting at the back like some seriously deranged Little League team. Truth be told, I’ve been expecting the question ever since I got off the freaky future phone with Mary Jane. See, it’s Luke here’s first trip to the Savage Land and he’s been sceptical as to its existence ever since it came up on Spider-Woman’s computer.
 
Ah, to be that innocent again.
 
As for me? Well, I’m just hoping we aren’t all gonna to die. Doing my best to chew my nails through my costume, I reply, “All kinds of mutates and dinosaurs and big cheetahs and a surprising amount of acceptable nudity.”
 
“Are you #$%$ing me?”
 
“No,” I say. “But it doesn’t matter – we probably won’t survive the crash.”
 
“What crash?”
 
“You don’t go to the Savage Land without crashing.”
 
Without turning around, Iron Man interjects, “You’ve never been there with me driving.”
 
In spite of his words, my spider-sense is going off the charts. He couldn’t have been less comforting. He’s like the band on the Titanic, right now, that’s how comforting he is. Famous last words to die by. Jeez, I really have made it to the big leagues.
 
“Uh huh…”
 
“Seat belts.”
 
“Yeah, that’ll help.”
 
The jet suddenly pitches forwards and then we’re upside down. Spider-Woman lets out an incoherent shriek -- or was that me? Either way,  the noise is loud enough that I could’ve been singing the ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ at the top of my lungs and the only thing I would’ve heard is the sound of a dying cat in a jet engine. Above the din, I can faintly hear the metallic voice of Iron Man say, “Almost there… Almost there…”
 
And, then, sure enough, we’re there. It all happens so fast that I barely remember it. One second I’m hanging upside down and praying to God I don’t wet my suit.  The next, the five of us are standing outside of the Quinjet and admiring the scenery. And what scenery it is. It’s really a shame about the inevitable death that goes hand-in-hand with being here. It’d make for one heckuva vacation spot.
 
Clapping a very manly hand to my shoulder, ol’ Shell-Head says to me, “See?”
 
“I stand corrected.”
 
Which is entirely the wrong thing to say because that’s right about the time that the Quinjet explodes, the force of the blast sending me and mine flying. I quickly shoot off a web to a nearby tree, pulling myself up and out of the line of fire. Only, as I soon discover, there’s a fundamental flaw to this plan. For whatever reason, I can’t stick the landing and so, my arms wheeling like windmills, I fall a good fifteen feet before the ground decides to break my fall.
 
“My back,” I croak, as I pull my sorry butt out of the foliage. “My poor, poor back.”
 
(Some dialogue comes from New Avengers #4 by Brian Michael Bendis.)

Comments

[thedevilhisdue]

I glare when the smoke gets yanked out of my mouth, and any other time I would love to try my hand at tanglin' with the ol' Webhead, but dere'll be time for dat later. I think I might just have to make a point of it.

"My pleasure, cherie." I flash her a quick wink, ignoring her new buddy before noticing dat Spidey thankfully hasn't come alone. I don't recognize the kid and I haven't actually met Cassidy's pup yet, but it's a relief to see Jeannie again, even if she's apparently had time to change her clothes. "'Lo, red. Reds. You de cavalry?"

[risesagain]

Jean had been temporarily distracted by the redhead in the wedding dress to notice that Gambit was talking to her, old nickname and everything. She'd been expecting something along the lines of a comment about a rising from the dead, but as she looked at him better she realised that this wasn't the same raging Cajun she'd last encountered. Not at all.


"Something like that," she said with a smile, trying not to feel a bit uneasy without any extra insight into this situation. "Except for the fact that there's no one to backup to our backup."

[faithanbegorrah.livejournal.com]

"This day's officially gone t'the bloody dogs," Terry announces, looking to the heavens as if someone up there will provide her strength.

X-Men, Spider-Man, kids and brides, what else can possibly go wrong?

"I'd like t'get out of this place, iffen ye don't mind. We can have the bloody reunions when not surrounded by dinosaurs."

[like-arrows.livejournal.com]

"I'm with her," I say, jerking my head toward - well, actually, I'm sure who she is, but she still makes a valid point. "Of course, it would kind of help if we actually knew which way was out, to start with, but as long as it takes us out of Jurassic Park, I'm not picky on directions." Sooner or later, the jungle has to end somewhere. The question's only, where?

[daretodo]

"And what are you wear--?" I cut my question short once I realize the conversation's carried on without us. Looks like our impromptu reunion'll have to be rescheduled for a more convenient time.

I turn to the rest of the group and I'm about to throw in my two cents when I hear an undeniably girlish shriek heading right towards us.

"Did-- Did anybody else hear that?"

[exweapon]

I am quickly beginning to feel an almost nostalgic longing for five minutes ago, when it was simply a strange blue moose upon my heels.

Once again I am running in a most terribly frantic manner, a bedevilled shriek wrenching itself from my lips; the strange shield I landed upon is now held above my head, in the hopes it might provide some meagre protection from the reptilian behemoth pursuing me. What is this new monster? Do alligators grow so large and venture onto land?

I know not, only that it seems intent on making a meal of me. Why, oh why must I appear so delicious to the various horrors that seem to fill the world?

I do not pursue the matter further, as I am myself pursued, and closely. I must concentrate on running, and not falling, and not being a snack for the alligator, and-

Are those people?

Oh, heavens, I may be saved! I alter my course to take me towards them. I may be still shrieking, I think.

I do hope one of them is the knight to whom the strange shield belongs to. Surely he will be able to fight the creature, like unto a dragon such as it is!

[faithanbegorrah.livejournal.com]

Terry takes it all back.

Everything she's ever thought of dealing with strange and horrifying happenings, she takes everything back when Wolverine, #@%$ing Wolverine of all people, comes running through the forest like the devil's on his back with a shriek worse than any sound she's ever made, sonic or not.

"Jesus Mary and Joseph! Wolverine, what in th-- is that--?"

Wolverine is running like a scared child through a jungle with Captain America's shield over his head like it'll save him.

Yeah, she takes it all back.

[risesagain]

Surprised. That's what Jean Grey was. After the world-ending set of years that she has had, the fact that she was means something big. The fact that the shrill noise that she could have sworn was some sort of flying creature set on eating them belongs to Wolverine changed the game in distinctly negative way.

"Logan?" She took a step towards him before stopping, frowning as she realised exactly what was wrong besides the screaming.

"Is that..." Turning to look at the rest of her fellow heroes for a little support and some answers, she pointed to the shield and the tiny furry man. "Exactly how long have I been dead?"

[daretodo]

"Not long enough for Wolverine to become Captain America, that's for sure!" I say to Jean, eyes widening unseen behind my mask at the sight of the Amazing Shrieking Canuck.

I'm about to make another one of my usual witty remarks when I notice what our little furry 'friend' was running from. Tilting my head back as far as it can go, I only just manage to see the top of Mr. T-Rex's head.

Boy, that's a lot of teeth.

"...uh, guys?" I say, carefully backing away. "I don't think webbing alone is gonna stop this one."

[like-arrows.livejournal.com]

Look, I'm all for fighting when we can handle it, but we're confused and scattered and I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Wolverine's turned up. If I were with my team, I'd know I could trust them to listen when I ask someone to cut me, but I can't, so right now the best plan's the old plan.

"Start running," I urge, already starting to back away. I'm keeping my eyes peeled as I go, looking for something, anything, but time's short and I don't want to start taking chances now. "Go! Move! Does anyone have a knife?"

[thedevilhisdue]

"Unless it's a really, really, big one, I don't see it helpin' us too much right now," I say distractedly. Sorry, but I'm still busy gawking at Wolvie, who's still off squealin' like de fifth little piggy. The T-Rex on his heels is pos'tively mundane in comparison, same goes for Jean goin' on about being dead when I just saw her giving Cyclops what for about two minutes ago.

Shame dat he probably isn't gon' be leading us all de way home, though.

"I never been too huge on valor, but dat bit about discretion being de better part... I'm inclined t'agree wit' de kid," I say, finally getting a move on. Assuming dis whole 'no powers' business isn't just my problem, I have a suspicion dis situation will be looking a lot better wit' a little distance. "Something tells me dat wedding dress is gonna turn into a liability très vite."

[getemtiger.livejournal.com]

Whoever it was who had joined their ragtag group with a shield over his head, Mary Jane couldn't be bothered to care when he was bringing a dinosaur with him. Reaching out to hold tightly to Peter as they all began backing away, her eyes went wide, gaze unwavering from the creature in front of them. If getting stuck in a tree was bad, this was worse -- probably even on par with facing the Green Goblin and Doc Ock.

She'd been about to comment on how well she could run in her dress, having learned from experience, when the dinosaur lunged. "I think you spoke too soon!" she yelled, quickening her pace and beckoning for the others to do the same. "Run!"

It was too late, at least for her. She'd moved away in time to avoid sudden death by dinosaur teeth, but it caught her dress instead, hoisting her up by it and leaving her to dangle upside down. Not even thinking enough, fortunately, to call Peter by name, all she did instead was let out a long, loud shriek. For all the times she'd been close to death before, death by T-Rex was really not something she wanted to experience.

[exweapon]

The alligator has that woman! And upon her wedding day, what horror! No doubt she appeared a more delectable treat than my own person. I shut my mouth in a snap, as she surely has more reason to scream than I, and jerk my head around to investigate who might be able to do something to aid the poor soul.

Or whether we will be running, I should not like to be left behind. Although such an action would be deeply unchivalrous, and yet, what could I do?

Speaking of chivalrous... I hurry to the side of the man in red, for although it is not armor, it surely has the look of livery about it, and he wears a mask: certainly a Mystery Knight, such as is always saving damsels in the stories.

"Sir!" I squeak, "here, sir, is this your shield?"

[faithanbegorrah.livejournal.com]

"Keep the bloody shield and run, ye daft idiot!" Terry yells, grabbing whoever this is (because this is not the Wolverine she knows) by the arm, doing her best to tug him along in the direction the others have already started. "Spider-Man!"

She doesn't think she needs to tell him what to do to save the poor girl, or that he's the only one with any means do to so.

[daretodo]

For a second, I'm seized by blind panic. If we were anywhere else, my spider-sense would've kicked in with a warning. As it stands, I'm caught completely off-guard and it's only some strange sense of self-preservation that prevents me from yelling out her name.

Since Siryn's taking care of The Mutant Formerly Known As Wolverine, I'm free to focus solely on Mary Jane. I might not have any powers...I might not even be able to see...but there's no force in this universe -- or any other -- that will stop me from saving her.

With a running start, I shoot off a web to the nearest tree, using the forward momentum to send me swinging upwards. I'm a lot heavier than I remember being just a few short minutes ago, but now's hardly the time to think about starting Atkins. Still too far from the dinosaur – and, more importantly, Mary Jane – to do much of anything, I take aim at another tree, this one closer to the action.

Now, the problem with swinging in an unfamiliar jungle is that it's hard to assess which trees will be able to take the extra -- not to mention sudden -- weight of a human arachnid. Usually I can counteract this problem with some magical combination of my spider-sense, my 20/10 vision and the fact that I'm really, really smart. Right now, though, I'm only working with the last one. Unfotunately, brains are not the most important factor in the trifecta of web-slinging.

The branch I'd latched onto snaps under my weight and I find myself falling again. Luckily, my reflexes are still good enough that I don't end up on the ground. Another web gets me to where I need to be: a high and relatively stable branch. Steadying myself against the trunk, I take aim at another tree about hundred feet away, mentally calculating the trajectory. It'll take us pretty low to the ground, but at least MJ won't be dinosaur food.

"HOLD ON!"

I jump. The window of opportunity here is small and I don't have the time -- or the means -- for finesse. I roughly catch Mary Jane about the waist and we're moving fast enough that her dress rips, leaving T-Rex with a mouthful of tulle and lace and other girly materials whose names I’ll never admit to knowing.

The landing's far from graceful, though I manage to let go of MJ before I duck into a forward roll, leaving her -- somewhat improbably -- on her feet, while I get a face full of dirt. Pulling myself up, I double back, sweep MJ into my arms and start running for both of our lives.

"Hey," I say breathlessly.

[risesagain]

"You can ask for her phone number later, Spidey!" Jeans shouted in the direction of Spider-Man and the now runaway bride. It was bad enough that they had civillians and time issues going on, but a T-Rex was making things just a little to B-movie for her tastes.

Pausing long enough to pick up the biggest rock she can find, Jean decided that if she was going to be reenacting The Land of the Lost, then she might as well play the part. Taking aim, she threw it as hard and as far as she possibly can in the opposite direction that they were running.

Maybe it would work, maybe it wouldn't. Trying didn't seem like that bad of an idea. Turning around, she started running again, falling in line behind the ragtag team. Adrenaline pumping, she pointed to the patch of rocks up ahead where the tree-line seemed to break.

"Over there! We can find some shelter!"

[like-arrows.livejournal.com]

It's kind of stupid, but it takes a while for things to click. Watching Spider-Man go, realizing that I'm surrounded by capes who aren't using their abilities, it occurs to me for the first time that there's nothing there. I reach out for my power and there's nothing there, and the absence is too much to wrap my head around just now. For a moment, I'm lost in it, thrown.

It's only a theory. Until I can try and call out the Staff of One, it's only an idea, and when Phoenix starts yelling, it yanks me back to reality and I'm only too glad to comply. Thinking about this now's a good way to get myself killed, but running? Running works. "I think we're gonna need more than some rocks to hide behind!"

[thedevilhisdue]

Now, running's never been something I've had a huge problem with, it's de getting chased part dat I don't like so much. In my experience, the dumber dey are, the harder dey are to shake.

"Dat's assuming we all hide together, pup," I say, keeping both eyes out for alternate routes. Despite my words, I stick close to de gang, at least for now. Dey're all professionals (with the possible exception of Wolverine), not exactly a liability just yet.

[getemtiger.livejournal.com]

Mary Jane was stuck by both an overwhelming sense of relief and familiarity when she fell and then was swept up, her arms sliding securely around Peter's neck as he ran. Somewhere in all of the commotion of the last twenty seconds or so, she'd lost her shoes, but she couldn't be bothered to worry about that right now. She was just grateful, yet again, to be alive.

"I'm not sure we should all split up completely," she called, the tremble in her voice revealing her wariness. Having been the one of them closest to being dinosaur food, she figured she was allowed to be that freaked out. "I, for one, don't want to be on my own out here."

[notawastedlife]

"Jarvis, you're sure this is where we were last time? I don't know, the trees look different," Tony said.

"Possibly because you're not moving past them at speed, sir. Speaking of which, it appears we're not alone out here."

Tony blinked, and then fished the remote for activating the collars out of his pocket. Nothing to worry about, this time, because-

"That's not- those are people. There are people?"

[forhawkeye]

I'm reaching for my own remote -- it's a safer bet than my bow as far as these circumstances are concerned -- when I notice that we're dealing with a who instead of a what. There, standing not so far away, is one of the strangest team-ups I've ever seen.

Spider-Man holding some woman in a wedding dress. Phoenix. That Gambit guy from the X-Men. The screaming chick from X-Factor -- Siryn? And, just to top everything off, there's Nico and a guy who could pass for Wolverine if he wasn't busy cowering underneath Captain America's shield.

"Oh my God." I turn to look at Tony and Yorick, eyes wide. "That's... I know them! Well, I know of them, at least. Jesus...that's, like, half of home right there!"

And a T-Rex. Half of home and a T-Rex. Figures.

[alas-yorick.livejournal.com]

Yorick peered beyond Tony and Kate, eyes widening with each second that passed to take in the scene in front of them.

"Is that Spider-Man!?" he exclaimed. "...Wait, is that a T-Rex!?"

Ampersand scrambled up the back of his head, and then back down when he caught sight of the giant fucking lizard.

"We should run, right? I mean, we're all superheroes here, but...this is one of those times when you run. Look, I mean...what is that, a scruffy looking Captain America? I don't get it. But he's running!"

(And okay, so maybe Yorick wasn't a superhero, but he was given a cool alias for a day, so it kind of counted. He bet Jarvis would have his back, anyway.)

[notawastedlife]

"Run? Pfft," Tony said, tossing his remote in the air once and catching it as he strode forward, past the running people - that were apparently all from the Clooney-verse, go figure - to stop, say, "From that? I'm Iron Man. I don't run from overgrown iguanas." That were now bearing down on him, jaws widening and slavering. He turned his back on it. "Not twice, anyway."

He raised his hand so that the remote was pointing over his shoulder at the T-Rex, which was closing fast. Jarvis was saying something about proximity. Tony ignored him and pressed the button.

Nothing happened.

The Tyrannosaurus bore down on him. Tony looked at the remote, noted that the indicator light was off, and then smacked the bottom of the unit into the palm of his hand. The light turned on.

The T-Rex opened wide, massive mouth appearing in his peripheral vision, dipped down in preparation to bite-

-and then its head jerked to the side, as if some massive force had punched it in the side of its face. Involuntary muscle spasm caused by the large jolt of electricity, simple, really.

"Bad dog," Tony told it, as it roared and veered away, probably confused as to how the fence had moved. If it had enough smarts, which was... questionable. "No biscuit."

He tossed the remote in the air again, caught it, and looked brightly at everyone. "So I guess you guys know me, huh? Well, a me, not necessarily this- we should chat. Have a pow-wow."

[faithanbegorrah.livejournal.com]

There've been so many damn things wrong in the past ten minutes (was it even that long?) that Terry can't even begin to make a list, but she knows exactly where to start when everything's suddenly quiet again and all she hears is her own breathing heavy in her ears.

But not for long.

"We did not just get saved by @!$%#ing IRON MAN!"