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[daretodo]

By now I know the drill. I'm on a strict order of bed rest for the ten days proceeding my surgery, which seems about as long as an overnight trip compared to my last stay in the clinic, a fact I try to focus on as I shift once again on the cramped, uncomfortable mattress. It's not like the bed back in mine and Mary Jane's hut is all that much better, really, but its location is infinitely preferable, surrounded by warm, wooden walls, all of my personal belongings, and most importantly, natural daylight. That it easily accommodates two is another point in its favor, but that particular train of thought just threatens to depress me more -- I'm a newlywed and I can't even sleep in the same bed as my wife. While I undoubtedly have bigger concerns, that's the one I keep circling back around to in my few moments alone.

I nearly lost my life to a man who probably could care less about me, and I did it at the expense of Mary Jane's happiness -- and for what? Some sense of duty, of responsibility? We've only just started our lives together, and I swanned off to play the hero for someone who didn't even want saving, leaving my wife with the all too real possibility of becoming a widow at age twenty-two. God, I've been so selfish lately, caught up in my own personal drama with Johnny's and Sarah's disappearances and Council business and the O.R. that I haven't really been there for the one person who means everything to me. That'll have to change once I'm out of here.

For now, though, I'm left to my own devices, MJ off making lunch for us both. With nothing else to do, I've turned to a battered copy of The Time Machine for entertainment, but I pay attention only to every other sentence, my mind elsewhere entirely even as I turn another page.

Comments

[drownondryland]

"Right, absolutely," Meredith says, a kind of relief sweeping over her at the prospect of something to do, a way to improve what she's got. There's no telling when he won't be able to do the job himself, and anyway, she has to admit her staff is a little slipshod now, herself included. At least, it feels it, compared to the standard of organization and preparedness she was accustomed to. "I mean, like you said, I only have the information they've given me and... my predecessors, the tests they've done, but I can make a list of those I know to be surgeons and... we can move from there."

[daretodo]

"Thank you," I say, managing a slight smile even as I take in yet another breath that burns my lungs. "Meanwhile, I'll see what I can do about some sort of security system, preferably before the next big party rolls around. The last thing we need is to discover the place isn't sterile anymore because some drunken couple thought the operating table would make for a good bed."

[drownondryland]

Meredith rolls her eyes, head tipping back, but there's relief enough in the act of planning that she smiles a little anyway. "Good idea," she says. "Around here, it's... I wouldn't even count on it taking until the next party. People aren't very picky around here." She would know, though she's hardly about to say so and it's not like it's an option she has lately, what with still being in repair.

[daretodo]

In spite of myself, I feel my cheeks start to burn, and I let out an awkward cough as a few choice memories come to mind. Quickly, I avert eyes, looking up at the ceiling with an innocent expression that's fooling no one. "Yeah, definitely not picky around here," I say in a slightly strained voice. "Other people, I mean. Totally."

[drownondryland]

"Right, other people," Meredith says, looking up again and biting back a laugh. "Absolutely." She just doesn't have it in her to be embarrassed by her own memories. They're good memories, albeit a little frustrating right now. Whatever he's thinking about, she doesn't want to know. "But really, the O.R., that's just wrong. That's a sacred place."